A Jewish Education from Kids, Cafes and Torah

Last week I broke routine a bit and took the kids out for some sweet treats in the city. We had a blast. They enjoyed the buzz of city life and the mounds of whipped cream atop their hot chocolates. I enjoyed our time together, watching them eat with gusto and relishing the fact that I had no part in our meal’s prep or clean up.

I was taken by the charm of the café, but my kids were much more interested in the ceiling-to floor windows that were behind our table and facing the busy street outside. They made it their job to try to engage every passerby on the street with enthusiastic waves and wide, chocolate-stained grins, with the sole purpose of eliciting a smile from a stranger. Each smile that was reciprocated resulted into an impromptu victory dance and a resounding “yesssss!” What they weren’t counting on was the sheer number of people who walked within inches of the window and did not notice them. Shockingly, the majority of the people who passed by our window were so plugged into their various iToys and cell phones, they didn’t even see the kids.

Watching my kids’ air kisses being blown onto “deaf” cheeks that day, I realized how devastated I would have been to miss that kind of greeting from anyone, let alone crazy-cute mini strangers in a café window. There’s no app that can duplicate that kind of purity or gesture. Their full-bodied enthusiasm and passionate attempts to connect made me reflect on how many times I choose to plug into a screen that blocks me from opportunities for profound human connection. Our Sages teach that we should “receive each person we meet with a pleasant countenance” (Perkei  Avot 1:15). Man, did my kids nail that Torah lesson that day.

Blessedly, the disappointment my kids felt at having their repeated attempts to interact ignored only fueled their fire to wave harder and smile bigger. That’s the beauty of human nature: We’re social beings who are designed to crave connection with other people. That’s what I find so powerful and uber-modern about this lesson from Perkei  Avot. While greeting each other in a friendly manner may seem obvious and implicit, sometimes, as plugged into the twenty-first century as we are, we often need a reminder to simply greet each other.

I still tap out my text messages and plug into my “pods,” but from now on I’m going to keep one eye open for the wavers and smilers of the world. The goofy kids in the back seats of station wagons, and the old women who stop me to ask my kids’ names … they’re the folks tuned into what really matters.

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