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Parsha Perspectives

by RABBI LABEL LAM

יש לי רב. יש לי כל

“I [Esav] have plenty. I [Jacob] have all.” (Genesis 33:9, 11)

“Esav spoke boastfully, proclaiming:
‘I have plenty more than I could ever want.’

(Jacob said, ‘I have) everything that I require.’” (Rashi)

In one brief dialogue, the divergent philosophies of Jacob and Esav are manifest. Their candid attitudes reveal dramatically different world-views. What is the source of the great divide?

Esav evaluates his personal wealth in terms of quantity (“plenty”), as opposed to Jacob, who does so in terms of quality (“all”). While the former is still hopelessly addicted to temporary material existence, the latter is living life on a higher frequency.

A powerful king once approached the famous Baron Rothschild and candidly asked him what he was worth. The Baron is reputed to have answered that he was worth some 50 million francs. The king felt that the answer somehow understated his true holdings and did some investigation. When he discovered that Baron Rothschild really was worth 500 million francs, he felt betrayed, and confronted the Baron again. “Why have you misled me and violated our trusting relationship? I am aware that your assets exceed 500 million francs!” The Baron humbly replied that true, his holdings were some 500 million francs – but the king had asked, “How much are you worth?” To that the Baron was compelled to tell the truth. “What I gave to charity approaches 50 million francs. What I have managed to give away is actually accounted to my “worth.” That is what I carry with me. It is locked in a vault of good deeds forever. As to what will happen to the remainder of my wealth, I am uncertain. I do not count it as my personal worth.’”

The spiritually-oriented person is not compelled to impress or be impressed by that which lies outside of himself. His true ambition is aimed at goals that are within his reachable realm, and his physical possessions are merely a means to achieve those ends and not the ends themselves.

“All” expresses a spiritual orientation, as the ladder in Jacob’s dream, and not a horizontal approach, which allows only a physical experience. The physical world is competitive, because two cannot own the same object simultaneously.

In the spiritual dimension of life, a person only competes against his own potential. One is never better than another, but only better than he would have been if he had not made the effort. Possessions then become a vehicle that can bring us closer to The Divine source of those objects. We are taught in Ethics of the Fathers (Pirkei Avos 3:8), “Give Him from His own, for you and your possessions are His!” The ideal spiritual drive is for a state of being rather than a condition of having.

If one has a deeply invested relationship with the Almighty, then one can truly say that he has all, even if he is materially deficient. Baron Rothschild’s response to the king can serve as our model for how we would describe our own lives. Would we look outward or inward? Would we say, “I have” or “I am,” “I have plenty” or “I have all”?

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Parsha Talking Points

by RABBI ELAZAR MEISELS

1. NAME THAT ANGEL

“Jacob asked him, and said, ‘Please tell me your name.’ He said, ‘Why do you ask for my name?’ He then blessed him there.” 32:30

He then blessed him there – This means that he acknowledged Jacob’s right to the blessings that he had taken from Esav. – Rabbeinu Bachya

Why do you ask for my name – We do not have a set name. Our names keep changing depending on the command of the mission we are sent to fulfill. – Rashi

Why do you ask for my name – Knowing my name will serve no useful function because I am powerless to help you if you call upon me. Only the Almighty can assist you, but I will not respond nor can I save you in a time of need. – Ramban

Netziv (Rabbi Naftali Tzvi Yehuda) explains that Jacob knew that an angel’s name changes according to his mission. Yet, he wanted to know his name at this moment so he could know where to draw upon this particular form of strength should he need it in the future. To this, the angel explained that Jacob has no need for this knowledge because Jacob prays to G-d for salvation. One who relies on the Almighty has no need for alternative sources of salvation.

2. THE KISS OF LIFE

“Esav ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and he kissed him, and they then wept.” 33:4

He kissed him – There are dots over the word, “VaYishokehu” - he kissed him. Our Sages debate their significance. Some suggest that they indicate that Esav’s kisses, although appearing heartfelt and genuine, were actually insincerely intended. Others posit that although Esav’s hatred toward Jacob is immutable, in this instance, he was overcome with mercy and kissed Jacob genuinely. - Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki, 1040-1105)

They then wept – Both of them wept. This teaches that not only did Esav feel deeply for Jacob at that moment, but also that Jacob reciprocated those feelings toward Esav. This was a sign for all generations that when Esav’s descendants will lay aside their animosity toward the offspring of Jacob and seek to learn from our G-dly ways, we may lay aside our misgivings and forge a true friendship. An example of this occurring was the friendship of Rabbi Yehudah HaNassi, a descendant of Jacob, and Marcus Arelius Antoninus, the Roman Curator and descendant of Esav. Together, they studied Torah through the night, and peace reigned throughout Israel. – HeEmek Davar

What were they crying about? Chasam Sofer suggests that each was crying over his personal spiritual challenge. Jacob wondered how he would continue to overcome so formidable a foe as the Satan, represented by the wicked Esav. Esav, on the other hand, saw Jacob and the spiritual heights he had climbed, and cried over the fact that he had neglected to do so himself. He shed bitter tears over the years of his life that he had wasted on empty pursuits. Bitter tears however, are not sufficient. One must commit to effect real change, and Esav was unwilling to do anything of the sort.

3. GIFTS FROM ABOVE

“He [Esav] raised his eyes and saw the women and children and he said, ‘Who are these to you?’ He [Jacob] answered: ‘These are the children whom G-d has graciously granted your servant.’” 33:5

These are the children – Although Esav asked about the women and the children, Jacob only answered him regarding the children because it was inappropriate for Esav to discuss the women. – Ramban

Who are these to you – Esav wondered why Jacob, who was always considered a chaste and untainted soul, would marry so many women. To this, Jacob responded that it was all for the children. His interests lay not in pursuing hedonistic pleasures, but in building generations of worthy individuals who would serve Hashem. – Malbim

The Midrash relates that until Esav saw Jacob with his large family and considerable wealth, he was overly incensed by the loss of the blessings. After all, he and Jacob had reached somewhat of an agreement wherein Jacob would focus on attaining the World to Come, and he would place his focus on attaining as much material success as he could during his life on earth. When he saw Jacob’s uncommon earthly success, however, he grew infuriated and demanded to know how Jacob could justify it if his emphasis was supposed to be on attaining a worthy share in the World to Come. Jacob responded that he had not done anything at all to amass it. Rather, it was all from the Almighty, Who had “graciously given him” this bounty, and there was no reason for Esav to suspect him of engaging in material pursuits. When Esav perceived that Jacob would still have his monumental share in the World to Come, in addition to the material wealth he enjoyed in this world, he began to suspect that he had made a poor choice by settling for this world and forgoing the World to Come. Spiritual pursuits do not preclude the possibility of material success by any means.

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Partner Talk

CHANUKAH UNWRAPPED

by RABBI LEIBY BURNHAM

Dear Rabbi,

Chanukah is an exciting time for our family – the presents, the dreidel, the doughnuts, the latkas and the chocolate coins. We of course know the reason for lighting the menorah, but I’m wondering if you can fill me in on the origin of the other customs?

Thanks,

Anita K.

Dear Anita,

I would be glad to help you round out your Chanukah experience with some further knowledge. Let’s get started with the doughnuts and the latkas. After all, what’s a holiday without some good food!

The custom of eating foods fried in oil is simply because the miracle of the Chanukah menorah happened with oil. There is also a custom to eat dairy foods and cheeses. This is to remember the great heroine of the Chanukah story, Yehudis. She was the betrothed daughter of the High Priest, and along with all the other Jewish girls was subject to tyrannical Greek decrees. After feeding a Greek general very salty cheese, she quenched his thirst with copious amounts of wine. As he fell asleep, thoroughly intoxicated, she used his sword to ensure he would never wake up. This greatly weakened the morale of the Greek army, and taught them that they could not violate the rights of Jews with impunity. We eat cheeses and dairy foods in honor of Yehudis’ special feat.

The “custom” of giving chocolate coins isn’t really a custom. (It must have been invented by a clever chocolate entrepreneur.)  It’s actually a spin-off from the custom to distribute Chanukah gelt (or Chanukah money). This custom is observed in two ways; giving Chanukah gelt to the poor and giving Chanukah gelt to children. One should try to give money to the poor on Chanukah in remembrance of how the Maccabees upon their victory distributed the booty to the poor and did not keep it for themselves. The Chanukah gelt given to children was originally used as a prize to encourage children to study Torah. The Greeks wanted to tear us away from our holy Torah, so Chanukah is a time to demonstrate our honor of the Torah by engaging our children in its study. The Chanukah gelt given today is usually not as an incentive but purely to promote the happy spirit of Chanukah. One nice way to combine the two types of Chanukah gelt is to give your children a little extra gelt that they can give to the charity of their choice. This helps train them to be givers, and adds meaning to the gelt giving. While we’re on the topic of spinning things…

Let’s talk about the dreidel. The little top with four sides, each with its own Hebrew letter, is a great Chanukah toy used in a whole variety of games. The dreidel goes back to the story of Chanukah itself. The Greeks forbade people from studying Torah, often on pain of death! The young children of the time, unwilling to give up their Torah study came up with a devious trick. They would study in groups as usual, but as soon as a Greek soldier was sighted, they would pull out little tops and begin playing with them. This allowed them to avoid detection and punishment, and allows us to enjoy the great dreidel!

There are many Jewish holidays that have a special mitzvah to eat a festive meal. Purim, often seen as a counterpart of Chanukah because both of them were instituted after the Biblical era, is one example of such a holiday. However, when the Rabbis instituted Chanukah, they never instituted that people should eat special meals. The reason for this is as follows; on Purim the decree was to kill the Jews physically, so the holiday that represents the reversal of the decree, is celebrated in a physical way with festive meals, giving gifts of food to friends, etc. The Greeks however tried to extinguish our spirituality by removing us from our spiritual roots. The celebration of Chanukah therefore is more of a spiritual one, where we light the menorah, and sing songs praising and thanking G-d for allowing us maintain our spiritual life source.

Does this mean no party? Not at all. If one pauses in the midst of their festive meal to sing a song of praise to G-d for the miracle (e.g. the Maoz Tzur we sing when lighting the candles), or to talk about the miracles of Chanukah, they are in effect changing the meal from a random party to a special mitzvah-meal.

Now we come to the bad news. There is no source for the gift giving at all. It most likely seeped into Jewish culture from other cultures who give gifts at the same time of the year. While I’m not suggesting that anyone abruptly stop giving gifts, it is important for children to know that the greatest gifts of Chanukah do not come wrapped in a box! The struggle of the Maccabees to hold onto everything that is dear to the Jewish people is the ultimate, eternal Chanukah gift.

Have a Wonderful Chanukah,
Rabbi Leiby Burnham

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Table Talk

FOR DISCUSSION AROUND THE SHABBAT TABLE

by RABBI LABEL LAM

The Torah (Bereishis 32:8-16) outlines Jacob’s three-fold approach to dealing with the mounting aggression of his alienated brother Esav: 1) preparing for war (by splitting his camp and attempting to ensure that at least part of his family would survive), 2) engaging in heartfelt prayer to G-d, and 3) sending Esav an extraordinary array of gifts. The Torah then describes their actual encounter as follows:

“Jacob raised his eyes and saw – behold, Esav was coming, and with him were four hundred men – so he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two handmaids. He put the handmaids and their children first, Leah and her children next, and Rachel and Joseph last. Then he himself went on ahead of them and bowed earthward seven times until he reached his brother. Esav ran toward him, embraced him, fell upon his neck, and kissed him; then they wept. He raised his eyes and saw the women and children, and he asked, ‘Who are these to you?’ He answered, ‘The children whom G-d has graciously given your servant.’” (Bereishis 33:1-5)

א) Which of the three strategies effected the change in Esav’s attitude towards Jacob?

ב) Assuming that the three strategies were stated in chronological order, why would he have prepared for war before turning to prayer, and only then sent gifts to Esav?

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Parsha Summary

When Jacob sent messengers to meet Esav, he discovered that his brother was coming to wage war against him. Jacob divided the people and possessions into two camps, so that if one was to be defeated, the other would survive. He then prayed to Hashem to save him, reminding Him of the covenant He had made with Abraham. Jacob prepared a gift to appease his brother. (Note the three tactics: preparation for war, prayer, and bribery.)

Jacob fought with an angel until the break of dawn. His hip was wounded in the battle. The angel blessed him.

Jacob, with his wives, children, and handmaids, greeted Esav, who came with an army of four hundred men. Esav kissed his brother (with questionable intent- see Talking Points).

Jacob departed for Succot, where he built himself a house and a shelter for his livestock. He then arrived at the city of Shechem and set up an altar there.

Shechem, the prince of the land, forcibly took Dinah, the daughter of Leah and wanted to marry her. Chamor, his father, favored this intermarriage and confronted Dinah’s brothers, the sons of Jacob, regarding their position. They responded that this would only be possible if all of Shechem converted and the males circumcised to become part of the Jewish people. The men of Shechem agreed and thus were circumcised.

Shimon and Levi, two of Jacob’s sons, killed every man of the city of Shechem, including Chamor and his son Shechem. They took all that remained. Jacob rebuked them for their act, but they responded that they were protecting their sister’s dignity.

Hashem instructed Jacob to make an altar for Him at Beth-El. Jacob took his household with him. The people of the surrounding cities did not attack them, because they sensed that Hashem was with them. Jacob established the altar in Beth-El. The Torah describes the death of Devorah, Rebecca’s nurse, but only alludes to the death of Rebecca herself.

Hashem changed Jacob’s name to Israel, and reassured him that his descendants would inherit the land.

On their journey from Beth-El, Rachel went into labor. She gave birth to a son, whom she named Ben Oni (the son of my mourning) – as she died in childbirth. Jacob changed his son’s name to Benjamin (the son of my right hand). Rachel was buried in Beis Lechem.

Reuven lay with Bilhah, his father’s maidservant, and Israel (Jacob) heard.

Jacob arrived at Mamre (Kiryat Arbah) and reunited with his father, Isaac, after being apart for thirty-six years. Isaac died at the age of 180, and Esav and Jacob buried him.

The Torah states that the descendant of Esav is Edom, and proceeds to list the genealogy, as well as the Edomite kings.

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