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Parsha Perspectives by Ozer Alport

(11:7) והמן כזרע גד הוא ועינו כעין הבדלח

“And the Manna was like coriander seed, and its color was like the color of the bedolach (crystal).”

During their travels in the wilderness, a group of complainers began to lament the Manna which they were forced to eat day after day. They wailed that they missed the succulent tastes of the meat, fish, and vegetables which they ate in Egypt, and now they had nothing to look forward to except for Manna. On our verse, Rashi explains that in response to their complaint, Hashem wrote in the Torah a description of how wonderful the Manna was as if to say, “Look, inhabitants of the world, at what my children are complaining about.”

Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov Pam (1913-2001) notes that although we don’t merit hearing it, a Divine voice expressing frustration over the things we complain about still goes out regularly. We live in a time of unprecedented freedom and material bounty, and we are surrounded by a society which influences us to believe that we are entitled to immediate gratification, to have everything we want, exactly when and exactly how we want it. If we would only step back and view our lives with the proper perspective, we would be so overwhelmed by the blessings we enjoy that there would be no room to complain about trivialities.

Although we don’t usually hear Hashem’s direct communication about this point, sometimes He sends us the message about priorities and values through a human agent, as illustrated in the following story. A student in a yeshiva was once complaining with his friends about the quality and variety of the meals that they were served. Each boy heaped more and more criticism on every aspect of the food, until they were jolted to their senses by one of the elderly teachers in the yeshiva. The Rabbi couldn’t help but overhear their loud complaints in the dining hall and walked over to deliver a succinct lesson: “In Auschwitz we would have done anything to have gotten such food.”

Every time that a husband comes home to a messy house, filled with children’s toys and dirty clothes, and once again berates his wife over her inability to keep their house clean, a Heavenly voice challenges, “How many families would do anything to have children and would gladly clean up the mess that accompanies them, and here is somebody who has been blessed with healthy children and is upset that they make his house disorderly? Where are his priorities?”

When a husband or a child complains about eating the same supper f or the 3 rd consecutive night, Hashem can’t help but point out how many poverty-stricken families would do anything to eat this dinner every night f or a year, if only to enjoy a nutritional and filling repast. Every time that the parents of the bride and groom quarrel over petty wedding-related issues, a Heavenly voice wonders how many parents will cry themselves to sleep that evening over their inability to find a proper match f or their aging son or daughter, and who would gladly accede to any terms the other side would set … if only there would be another side.

talking points - parshas Behaaloscha
Rabbi Elazar Meisels

1. Rise and Shine

“Speak to Aharon, and say to him; When you cause to rise [light] the lamps toward the face of the Menorah…” 8:2

• When you Cause to Rise - Because the flame ascends, igniting is described in terms of “rising.” He is required to ignite the lamp until the flame rises by itself. – Rashi

Sefer Korbon HaOni explains that the act of kindling the menorah is analogous to kindling the human soul. When a person first embarks on the lofty task of mitzvah performance, it is not always easy to sustain the initial enthusiasm and his interest can fluctuate from day to day. The act of lighting the menorah teaches us that just as one should not remove the igniting flame until the flame of the menorah is sufficiently stable to rise of its own accord. Similarly, when one embarks upon the performance of a mitzvah, he should be accompanied by a hefty dose of inspiration and commitment, and consistently perform the mitzvah regardless of his degree of enthusiasm until the mitzvah takes on a life of its own. Only once he has mastered the observance and performs it consistently, can he safely let up on the inspiration.

2. Practice What You Preach

“Aharon did so; toward the face of the Menorah he lit its lamps, just as Hashem commanded Moshe”? 8:3

• Why should we be excluded - This indicates Aharon's virtue: he did not deviate [i.e. in the performance of the mitzvah from that which Moses had instructed him in the name of Hashem] – Rashi
• Why is the fact that Aharon followed instructions considered a virtue? Isn’t that to be expected of a person of his lofty stature? Rashi’s point is that not only did Aharon not deviate from his instructions in the slightest, but also, that he never once varied in his enthusiasm for the mitzvah during all 39 years that he lit the menorah in the Tabernacle. The same passion and zeal he felt upon doing so for the first time remained with him for as long as he performed the mitzvah. – Vilna Gaon

The commentators derive another lesson from the words, “He did not deviate”. In addition to performing the Temple Service, the Kohanim (Priests) were expected to act as the teachers of the Torah for the people. A successful teacher is one who practices what he preaches. If the teacher acts one way but expects the pupils to act another way, he will not be effective. Aharon, as the lead Kohen, “did not deviate”. He performed every mitzvah exactly as he was originally instructed, and he could therefore expect nothing less of those to whom he ministered.

3. Ark-Enemies

“Whenever the Ark departed, Moses would proclaim: ‘Rise up, Hashem, and may Your enemies disperse, and those who hate You, flee before You.’” 10:35

• Those who hate You – This refers to the enemies of the Jewish people, since all those who detest Israel, [actually] detest the One who brought the world into being…” – Rashi
• “Why is it called, ‘Mt. Sinai’? Because it is the mountain from which ‘Sinah’ [hatred toward the Jewish people] descended upon earth. – Talmud, Tractate Shabbos 89a Their hatred stems from the fact that we, not they, accepted the Torah along with its moral precepts and principles. - Rashi

Although numerous justifications have been advanced over the centuries to explain anti-semitism, none come close to satisfying a rational mind. How is it that we’re blamed for enjoying too much power, yet detested for living in poverty? In one country we’re accused of usurping all the jobs, whereas in another, we’re accused of being lazy and disinterested in work? We’ve been charged with plotting to rule the entire rule, while simultaneously being guilty of not showing sufficient interest in world politics? Our sages teach us that the reason none of these meager excuses stand up to scrutiny, is because none of them truly represent the sentiments of the antagonistic nations. Rather, what irks them most is our commitment to represent the highest standards of morality and serve as the world’s moral conscience. No one likes to be constantly reminded of his shortcomings, but all agree that it’s a necessary dimension of life. The interesting thing about this is that when we live up to our commitment to practice morality on the highest level, we may not be universally beloved, but we’ll certainly be respected, albeit begrudgingly. The real problems begin only when we claim to be morally sound, but fail to live up to those standards. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the worst thing a Jew can do is try to assimilate and erase all vestiges of his Jewish identity. It only serves to arouse the ire of the nations and incite them to persecution. return to top
Rabbi Elazar Meisels can be reached at rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.org 

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Israel at 26 - Rabbi Elazar Meisels

Dear Rabbi,
I’m writing you because I was hoping you could help me out with a dilemma. I’ve always loved Israel. I was bar-mitzvahed at the Wall, and I’ve visited relatives who live there several times over the past years. I recently graduated law school, passed the bar exam, and received an offer from a prestigious law firm. The problem is that I’m 26 yrs. old and would like to return to Israel to study in a yeshiva for individuals like myself who never received a comprehensive Jewish education. I know that once I begin my career and get married, I won’t have that opportunity and it means so much to me. I’m not looking to attend long-term and delay my career indefinitely. That’s a luxury I can’t afford, but I do believe that a year is in the cards. I spoke to the firm and they’re willing to defer their offer for one year.

What’s the dilemna then? My parents. Specifically my mom, who’s usually so supportive and understanding, but now I can’t have a conversation with her without her getting hysterical. She accuses me of dodging responsibility, and frets that I’ll never return, or wind up spending years in yeshiva and lose my professional edge. I’ve never argued with my folks over anything serious before, but I feel like I’m at a loss. Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks and sorry for the long-winded question,
Rob [Reuven]

Dear Rob,
You’ve provided many helpful details, but somehow I’m reminded of the old adage, “Advice dispensed from a distance is as accurate as an arrow shot around a bend.” I’d love to give you concrete guidance, but even with the information you provided, I still don’t know nearly enough to offer anything too specific. For now, I’ll share a few thoughts that come to mind as I read your letter, and hope that they’ll lead to greater understanding between you and your dear parents.

1. I’ve often heard students exude a tone of bitterness toward their parents for not providing them with a comprehensive Jewish education. When their parents then attempt to obstruct their efforts to obtain that education at a later date, the frustration sometimes leads to all-out war. I don’t know if that is the case with you, but I’d advise against harboring such sentiments in the strongest terms imaginable. Your parents, who love you, and gave you everything they could, deserve nothing less than your utmost respect and appreciation. That attitude must dominate every interaction you have with them. If they fell somewhat short in the area of Jewish education, I assure you they did not do so knowingly, or willingly. I’d even venture a guess that your Jewish education exceeded their own. Fortunately for you, you’ve discovered that there’s even more to Judaism than you, or your parents may have known, and you’re excited about the prospect of adding to your knowledgebase and performing additional mitzvot. Admirable as that is, it should be viewed as a complement to the education your parents provided you, not a rejection of it, and certainly not a rejection of them.

2. You sound like a diligent student who has given your parents much reason to be proud. It is logical to assume that they have big dreams for you and that you’re capable of living up to those dreams. Consequently, their uneasiness with your plan to delay the realization of those goals is understandable, even if your reasons for doing so are sensible and altruistic.

Based on my years of experience in this matter, I’ll be the first to agree that the year you spend in yeshiva is a crucial step in your growth as a Jew. However, you must make an effort to understand where their objection stems from, and to help them to feel that you understand their concern. Once you’ve succeeded in doing that, it’s likely that they’ll be prepared to hear why your plan is worthwhile, and offer their support.

3. To increase the chances of everyone being heard, I’d advise you to sit down with your parents, pen and paper in hand, and ask them to enumerate all of their concerns and objections. Try to resist the urge to interrupt them as they’re speaking, even if it’s uncomfortable to hear them accuse you of things you’re innocent of, and quietly jot down their key points. Allow them as long as they need to fully express themselves before offering a rejoinder. Only once they’re satisfied that you’ve heard them out, should you begin to respond. First consider which objections are factual, and which are a result of misunderstanding or stereotyping. Explain why the misunderstandings are baseless and the stereotypes inaccurate. Then address their remaining points in a logical, respectful, and calm manner. Concede where you can, and stand firm where you cannot. Explain to them that just as you attended law school for so many years in order to become the best lawyer you could be, it is important for you to attend yeshiva to be the best Jew you can be. Reassure them that you’ll be in touch with them regularly during your time in Israel, and invite them to visit you while you’re there, so they can see firsthand what it is that you’re studying. If you can arrange to have the law firm confirm the offer to defer in writing, present that to your parents too. It will help put their fears to rest on that count, as well.

4. Contact members of your community who’ve implemented similar plans. You should have no problem locating such individuals, since it’s common nowadays to attend yeshiva in Israel for a year or two before embarking on a professional career. Ask them to meet with your parents in a neutral location [coffee shop etc.] and explain why your idea has merit and how they personally benefited from the experience.

In closing, allow me to wish you great success in all of your endeavors, and may Hashem see fit to enable you to inspire your parents to appreciate the nachas you’ll give them through your continued growth as a Jew. return to top
Best Wishes,
Rabbi Elazar Meisels

Submit your questions for publication consideration to questions@partnersintorah.org
Rabbi Elazar Meisels can be reached at rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.org

Hey, I never knew that! By Ozer Alport

Amazing Insights About the Weekly Parsha   

Q:Rashi writes (9:7) that after Moses told the men who were impure that sacrifices may only be offered by pure people, they suggested that an offering be brought on their behalf by pure Priests, with the meat to be eaten by Jews who were pure. Although the law is that a Passover sacrifice brought on behalf of a group consisting of both pure and impure individuals is valid, the impure men would still be unable to fulfill their obligation to eat the Passover sacrifice. If so, what did they hope to gain by their request?

A:Rabbi Moshe Feinstein derives from here that a person should love the mitzvot to the point that even if forces beyond his control prevent him from fulfilling his literal obligation, he should attempt to participate in them to whatever extent is physically possible. He writes that somebody who is unable to dwell in a Sukkah should at least make one, and somebody who cannot eat the prescribed amount of maror (bitter herbs) at the Passover Seder should at least eat a little (although he shouldn’t make a blessing on doing so). He cites a number of examples of mitzvot which contain loopholes by which a person can exempt himself. Nevertheless, Hashem gave them in this manner confident that the Jewish people would love performing the commandments and wouldn’t seek to free themselves from doing them.

Q: The Talmud (Shabbos 130a) teaches that any mitzvah which was accepted by the Jewish people with happiness, such a circumcision, is still performed to the present day with gladness. Any mitzvah which was accepted with fighting – such as forbidden relationships (Rashi 11:10) – is still accompanied by tension, as the issues involved in the negotiation of every wedding involve struggles and discord. Of all of the mitzvot, why did the Jewish people specifically complain about the prohibition against marrying family members?

A: Rabbi Yisroel Yaakov Fisher suggests that when the Jews heard that they would be unable to marry their close relatives, they feared that they would be unable to enjoy successful and compatible marriages. They felt that the ideal candidate for marriage would be a person who was familiar since birth and who would be almost identical in terms of values and stylistic preferences. However, from the fact that the Torah forbids us to marry those most similar to us, we may deduce that the Torah’s vision of marriage and an ideal partner differs from our own.

Ozer Alport can be reached at ozer@partnersintorah.org return to top

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