Click to print/View in PDF
Parsha Perspectives by Ozer Alport
ואשביעך בד' אלקי השמים ואלקי הארץ אשר לא תקח אשה לבני מבנות הכנעני אשר אנכי יושב בקרבו כי (אל ארצי ואל מולדתי תלך ולקחת אשה לבני ליצחק (24:3-4
“And I (Abraham) will have you (Eliezer) swear by Hashem, G-d of Heaven and G-d of earth, that you not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell. Rather, to my land and to my kindred shall you go and take a wife for my son, for Isaac.”
When Abraham instructed his trusted servant Eliezer regarding the selection of a wife for his son Isaac, he was very insistent that Eliezer not choose a wife from their Canaanite neighbors, but rather from Abraham’s original homeland and family in Charan. Abraham lived amongst the Canaanites and rejected the possibility of allowing Isaac to marry one of them due to their idolatrous ways. However, in light of the fact that the women in Charan worshipped idolatry just as did the Canaanites, what was the benefit of sending Eliezer to seek a wife from his homeland?
Rabbeinu Nissim of Gerona, known as the Ran (1320-1380), explains that Abraham’s objection to a Canaanite daughter-in-law wasn’t based on their idolatrous practices, but rather on the immorality and lack of proper character traits they exhibited in their behavior. Although Abraham’s relatives in Charan also worshipped idols, he knew that at the core their values and ethics were wholesome and intact.
As immodest and unethical behavior originates in one’s very essence and can be passed on genetically, the Canaanites were disqualified from marrying into Abraham’s family. On the other hand, matters of philosophical belief are taught, not inherited. The idolatry of Abraham’s relatives in Charan therefore could be remedied by simply educating and exposing them to belief in Hashem.
The Ran’s point that intellectual knowledge and pursuits aren’t passed through the generations is illustrated by the following story. One of my Rabbis spent several years living in Jerusalem. As he was interested in the practical aspects of applying the knowledge that he had spent many years acquiring, he obtained permission to sit in the central Rabbinical Beis Din (Court) and observe the various proceedings.
One day a woman came before the Beis Din for a proceeding. When asked for her last name, she replied, “Einstein.” Curious, my Rabbi respectfully waited until the end of the session and then approached the woman to inquire about her identity. Sure enough, she explained that she was none other than the great-granddaughter of the illustrious Albert Einstein.
At this point, with her ancestry clarified, my Rabbi couldn’t help but ask if she followed in the path of her famous great-grandfather and spent her spare time studying advanced physics and the theory of relativity. Albert Einstein’s great-granddaughter replied that she never understood these subjects and found his work totally uninteresting and incomprehensible.
The path that our children will take and the families they will raise are beyond our control. Although we will try our utmost to shape their goals and priorities in life, they will ultimately be influenced and determined by factors beyond our control. What is in our power, however, is to work on our own character traits and to encourage our children to marry those with similar giving dispositions, which will become a permanent part of our spiritual legacy as it is passed down from generation to generation, just as we learn from Einstein’s theory of “relative”-ity! return to top
Ozer Alport can be reached at ozer@partnersintorah.org
talking points - parshas CHAYEI SARA
Rabbi Elazar Meisels
1. At All Costs
“Avraham heeded Efron, and Avraham weighed out to Efron the price which he had mentioned in the hearing of the children of Ches, four hundred silver shekels in negotiable currency.” 24:16
- o Four Hundred Silver Shekels – Each of these shekels was worth 2,500 ordinary shekels. Thus, Avraham paid a total of one million shekels for the Cave of Machpelah. – Talmud, Tractate Bava Metziah 87a
- Avraham Heeded Efron… Four Hundred Silver Shekels In Negotiable Currency – Rabbi Yudin bar Siman says, “This is one of three places where the Torah attests to the Jews uncontestable possession of their property. For the Cave of Machpelah, [the site of] the Beis HaMikdash, [the site of] the grave of Yosef HaTzaddik, [were all paid for without haggling or requesting credit.]” – Medrash Rabbah Bereishis 79:7
In addition to numerous other important lessons that this account has to offer, it demonstrates Avraham’s exceptional love for Sara, his life’s partner. He chose the finest plot for her, and paid an exorbitant sum of money to obtain it. The respect he showed Sara throughout his lifetime is something the Torah refers to constantly [see Rashi 11:29, 12:8], and another of the binding precedents Avraham set for his descendents.
2. Out Of Our Hands
“Then Lavan and Besuel responded and said, ‘The matter stemmed from Hashem! We can say to you neither bad nor good’” 24:50
- Neither Bad Nor Good – Since the match is obviously ordained by Hashem, we have no right to say bad [i.e. reject it], or good. – Sforno (Rabbi Ovadia Sforno, 1475-1550)
- Neither Bad Nor Good – That they realized that there was nothing they could do to impede the match, was rather understandable. Why, however, didn’t they encourage and promote the idea, once they recognized its Divine underpinnings? Lavan and Besuel understood that since the matter was ordained by Hashem, not only were they powerless to thwart it, but their encouragement would likewise have zero effect upon its realization. Just as one cannot assist the current in propelling water downstream by paddling an oar in that direction, their encouragement would do nothing to speed along its fulfillment. When the Almighty ordains something, humans are powerless to intervene. – Reb Yosef Pagramanski hy”d
Lavan was a protégé of his wicked father Besuel, an idolater and exceedingly deceitful person, not given to spiritual development. Yet, even these two depraved individuals, could not help but acknowledge the reality of Hashem’s mastery over the universe in the face of such obvious verification. Nevertheless, as is typically the case when evil people are inspired, the inspiration is short-lived, and rapidly fades into the background. As Rashi [24:55] informs us, only a short while later, Besuel unsuccessfully attempted to harm Eliezer and thus prevent him from returning home with Rivka.
3. Meant To Be?
“And Yitzchak brought her to the tent of Sara, his mother, and he took Rivka, and she was to him for a wife and he loved her, and he was comforted over the loss of his mother. 24:67
- Into The Tent Of His Mother Sara - He brought her to the tent, and behold, she was like his mother Sara. That is, she became the image of his mother Sara. For, as long as Sara was alive a candle burned steadily from Friday to Friday, a blessing was constantly in the dough, and a cloud [of glory] hovered over the tent. When Sara died, these miracles ceased, and when Rivka arrived, they abruptly returned. - Rashi
Why was it important for Yitzchak to see firsthand Rivka’s spiritual greatness before consenting to marry her? Hadn’t he already been apprised by Eliezer of all the miracles that occurred in the process of locating her? Wasn’t that ample evidence for the suitability of the union? The Brisker Rav explains that one must never consider miracles and omens to be reliable indicators in selecting a spouse. For while omens and miracles are nice to experience, they’re poor substitutes for refined character traits, and Yitzchak was not content to rely upon them, in lieu of independently ascertaining that Rivka possessed the sterling character traits that rendered her suitable to assume the lofty role of a Matriarch. His clearheaded example of how to select a spouse is a worthwhile lesson for us all. return to top
Rabbi Elazar Meisels can be reached at rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.orgThis page is dedicated to, and written for the 6,000 Partners in Torah mentors.
We welcome you to join their ranks by calling 800-STUDY-4-2.
Please send your comments, questions, and suggestions to info@partnersintorah.org
Contact info for Partners in Torah Mentor Advisors*:
Rabbi Reuven Drucker | 732-917-6371 (Sunday – Friday 9:00 am – 12 Noon) rabbidrucker@partnersintorah.org
Rabbi Elazar Meisels | 732-917-6370 (Sunday & Tuesday 8:00 – 11:00 pm) rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.org
Rabbi Pinchos Jung | 845-425-6533 (leave message)
*Kindly reserve use of our advisors for mentor contact.
Testing testing 123 By: Rabbi Elazar Meisels
Dear Rabbi Meisels,
Perhaps you can help me understand something that’s been bothering me for a long time. In Parshat Lech Lechah we read about how God tested Abraham. What I’m trying to understand is why God needs to test him if God knows full well how he’s going to respond?
Many Thanks, Melissa R.
Melissa,
Thank you for your excellent question, which is discussed by the commentators who offer a number of interesting approaches. Two of the better known explanations are from Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman (Ramban – Nachmanides), and Rabbi Moshe ben Maimon (Rambam – Maimonides).
Here is the essence of their comments:
Ramban [Bereishis 22:1] Although the word “test” is often used to describe the adversity Avraham experienced, in reality the word “test” is an imperfect definition of what the Mishnah [Avos 5:3] calls a “Nisayon”, because a nisayon is not merely Hashem’s way of testing us. He has no need for tests to determine our level of religious commitment and He knows exactly where we stand on every matter and how we will respond to whatever challenges He throws in our way. Rather, the goal of a nisayon is to afford the person undergoing it an opportunity to grow beyond his own expectations, transform his good intentions into positive action, and receive abundant reward for those actions. Thus, a better definition of the word “nisayon” would be “growth opportunity”, for it is a custom-tailored opportunity designed to encourage and assist a person in his quest for spiritual growth.
The reason such opportunities are necessary is because the majority of people find a comfort zone and rarely venture beyond that point if they can at all help it. It’s only when external factors force them to expand their range of activities that they agree to do so. This is true in both the material and the spiritual aspects of life. Very few people are self-motivated to push themselves beyond the pursuit of their basic needs in life. They are content to make do with very little, so long as they don’t have to work too hard for it. Only when that too, proves insufficient, for whatever reason, do they extend themselves further.
In spiritual matters this is especially evident. Most people are quite pleased with where they are spiritually, or think they’ve already over committed to Hashem. They’re content with fulfilling a select few of the mitzvos, a yearly donation to their favorite charity, and wearing Tefillin when they attend a relatives’ Bar Mitzvah. Rarely do we express concern over how to develop our relationship with Hashem into the deep and fulfilling relationship that it could be.
Nisyonos then, are Hashem’s way of drawing us out of our comfort zone and allowing us to go beyond what we may have ever thought possible. He sees the potential within us and He knows how rewarding it would be for us to maximize that potential. Thus, he presents us with challenges that compel us to realize that potential in the manner similar to well-meaning parents who encourage their lazy but exceptionally bright child to attend a well-respected university, in the hopes that he’ll utilize the opportunity to achieve his vast potential.
Obviously, just as these well-meaning parents would never push their below-average child to attend a first-tier university where he’d get lost in the mix, Hashem never presents us with a nisayon that will prove too much for us to handle. Instead, He carefully calibrates each nisayon to afford us maximum growth while still remaining well within our capacity.
Rambam [Moreh Nevuchim 3:24] Rambam maintains that the purpose of Avraham’s nisyonos was not to “test” him, but rather to serve as an example for the rest of the world.
The world that Avraham lived in was one where people worshipped deities that they could relate to in a physical sense [sun, moon, wind, ocean, fire etc.] The concept of monotheism which Avraham sought to introduce, in which there is a greater power controlling the universe, seemed inconceivable to human beings and was something that they struggled to assimilate. They refused to believe that someone could faithfully adhere to moral choices demanded of them by an abstract G-d.
When the people witnessed Avraham’s dedication to these principles even under the most demanding circumstances, they were inspired to act in a comparable manner. His performance set a precedent for faithful obedience that was unheard of previously, and stimulated many others to abide by the principles of monotheism even against all odds. His performance under pressure demonstrated the necessity and viability of faithfulness to Hashem’s expectations of us.
May you be strong and resilient enough to maximize all of the wonderful opportunities life has to offer and realize the blessing in the challenges that Hashem grants you!
Sincerely,
Rabbi Meisels return to top
Rabbi Meisels can be reached at rabbimeisels@partnersintorah.org
The lesson of Sara's life — that every second of one's life must be recognized for the Divine gift that it is, and cherished accordingly — is one that can literally change a person's entire attitude toward living.
R' Moshe Feinstein was once delivering a shmuess (lecture) to his talmidim on Chanukah about the importance of not wasting time, when he said, ``In America, there is a saying, that one can `kill time."' Suddenly, without warning and totally out of character, he leaned forward and banged loudly on his table. Eyes blazing, he stared at his shocked students and declared forcefully, ``Ess is takeh retzichah!" [That really is murder!] His passion left an indelible impression on those who were present.
Chidushei HaRim notes further that every second of one's life has a purpose. In this vein, he explains Hillel's famous dictum: וְאִם לֹא עַכְשָׁו אֵימָתָי, If not now, when? (Avos 1:14). Simply understood, the Mishnah is warning that time is not forever. No man knows how long he will live, or whether he will be granted the time to perform any good work that he seeks to push off for another time. But Chidushei HaRim sees a deeper meaning in Hillel's words. He explains that each now, that is, every point in time, has a particular purpose and destiny for every human being. Hashem intends for each person to be doing a specific thing at any given point in time. For some it is Torah study, for others the performance of a mitzvah. It may be eating, sleeping, or earning a livelihood. But there is always something to be done — and the obligation cannot be postponed to another time, because that time has an obligation of its own.
The result of postponing until tomorrow what must be done today is that what was to be done tomorrow is never accomplished. Every minute of every day has never come before, and, once it departs, will never come again. And there is only one chance to utilize each moment properly. Thus, says Chidushei HaRim, Hillel means to ask: If not now, when? If one does not fulfill the obligation of this now — an obligation that must be discharged, and can only be properly fulfilled, at this moment — when will it be done? It will be lost forever! These words must serve as a powerful spur to propel us toward a new appreciation of the value of time. return to top
Hey, I never knew that! By Ozer Alport
Amazing Insights About the Weekly Parsha
Q:The Parsha begins, “Sara’s lifetime was 127 years, the years of Sara’s life.” If Sara lived 127 years, isn’t it clear that these were the years of her life. What is the seemingly redundant conclusion to the verse coming to teach us?
A: Rabbi Avrohom Yaakov Pam notes that Rashi writes (23:2) that the death of Sara is juxtaposed to the binding of Isaac (at the end of last week’s parsha) in order to teach that the shock and fear from hearing that her son was almost slaughtered was the cause of her death. Realizing this, somebody might mistakenly assume that if not for this tragic turn of events, she would have enjoyed many more years, or even decades, of her long and productive life. In order to counter this erroneous conclusion, the Torah emphasizes that these were the years of life which she was allotted, and if not for this episode, she would have died in some other manner at the exact same time.
Rabbi Pam was known to use this message to comfort those grieving the loss of loved ones. Many times it seems that if they would have only tried a different medical treatment or if a certain accident could have been averted, the dead would still be alive, leaving the mourners feeling very guilty. Painful as the loss is, Rabbi Pam used the lesson of our parsha to teach that each person is given his unique lifespan for reasons completely beyond our comprehension, and there was nothing we could have done differently to prevent this person’s death, from one cause or another.
Q: It is interesting to note a substantial difference in the approach taken by Rebecca in her interactions with her husband Isaac as compared to the style chosen by Sara in her dealings with Abraham. When Sara noticed the evil ways of Yishmael, she directly confronted her husband Abraham and ordered Yishmael’s immediate expulsion (21:9-10). In next week’s parsha, although Rebecca was clearly aware of the difference between her sons, she never directly told her husband Isaac the truth about their wicked son Esau. Instead, she resorted to a backhanded scheme to ensure that Jacob, the righteous son, would receive the blessings. Why didn’t she confront Isaac in the same manner that her mother-in-law had previously exercised?
A:Rabbi Naftoli Tzvi Yehuda Berlin, better-known as the Netziv, explains that when Rebecca first encountered Isaac, she was returning with Eliezer and his servants and observed Isaac in the field saying the afternoon prayers. When he prayed, he was so removed from this world as to appear totally angelic and spiritual. Hence, she slipped off her donkey and covered herself out of awe and reverence for this holy man (24:64-65). This initial encounter made such a deep impression on her that she found herself unable to directly confront him for the rest of their married life, due to the pure and deeply-ingrained respect she had for her husband. As a result, when she realized that Isaac erred in his judgment about which son to bless, she had no choice but to indirectly circumvent his intentions in order to bring about the proper outcome in which Jacob received the blessings he deserved. return to top
Ozer Alport can be reached at ozer@partnersintorah.org
Table Talk: For discussion around the Shabbos Table
א)Why is our parsha known as Chayei Sara, which means “the life of Sara” when it begins with her death, and why is a later parsha known as Vayechi, which means “and he (Jacob) lived” when it discusses Jacob’s death? (Oznayim L’Torah by Rabbi Zalman Sorotzkin)
ב)We find in the Torah three different incidents where people meet their matches at wells – Eliezer and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, and Moses and Tzipporah. What is the deeper significance of wells and meeting one’s match near them? return to top
Parsha Partner is a publication of Partners In Torah
a division of Torah Umesorah, The National Society for Hebrew Day Schools.
Rabbi Eli Gewirtz, National Director; Kasriel Nojowitz, Director Special Projects
Parsha Partner Production Team- Yaffa Baslaw, Chani Davis, Dafnah Shoner
Partners in Torah is a multi-faceted educational organization dedicated to fostering unity among jews of all backgrounds and assisting them in their quest for a deeper appreciation of their heritage. Partners in Torah brings adults from across the spectrum of religious observance together for a variety of study programs and jewish life experiences. Our growing participant base of 12,000+ is serviced by 24 trained professionals who work to maximize the experience of each participant.
For more information call 800-study-4-2 or visit www.partnersintorah.org
Honor or remember a loved one by dedicating an issue of parsha partner which reaches over 15,000 people each week. dedications (up to 15 words) for yahrtzeits, refuah sheleyma, etc. are $180 and issue. for dedication and free subscriptions information or to have a parsha partner sent to your shul, call 732-363-3330 ext. 6377, or via e-mail parsha@partnersintorah.org
In memory: Avraham ben Yoel (Abraham Malmad) 13th Yarhzeit-14 Cheshvan,
Beloved father of David, Lynn & Howard. Husband of Caroline.